Ask most Christian couples if they pray together regularly, and you will often hear an awkward silence followed by, 'We know we should, but somehow we never actually do it.' Between work stress, children, phones, and sheer tiredness, praying together as husband and wife often becomes the one spiritual discipline couples intend to build but rarely sustain.
Why Is Couple Prayer So Difficult to Start?
Praying aloud together requires a level of spiritual vulnerability that many couples, even after years of marriage, have never practiced. One spouse may feel their prayers are 'not good enough' compared to the other's, or unresolved tension from an earlier argument makes praying together feel forced and awkward. These feelings are common, and naming them honestly is the first step toward overcoming them.
Again I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. — Matthew 18:19
This promise was given specifically in the context of agreement between believers, and a husband and wife united in prayer carry a unique spiritual authority the Bible clearly honors.
Practical Steps to Actually Start Praying Together
- Start small: even sixty seconds of prayer together daily is better than none
- Choose a fixed time, such as right before sleeping or right after waking up
- Take turns praying aloud instead of one spouse always leading
- Keep a shared prayer list of family needs, decisions, and thanksgivings
- Do not let unresolved conflict cancel prayer time; instead, let prayer help resolve it
Consistency matters far more than eloquence. God is not grading your grammar; He delights in a husband and wife humbly seeking Him together, even with simple, stumbling words.
What Should Couples Actually Pray About?
Beyond general requests, intentional couple prayer should include gratitude for each other, confession of impatience or unkind words spoken that day, prayer over children's futures, wisdom for financial and career decisions, and protection over the marriage itself from outside pressures and temptations. Praying specifically, rather than only generally, deepens intimacy between spouses as much as it deepens intimacy with God.
How Does Shared Prayer Strengthen a Marriage?
Couples who pray together consistently often report fewer unresolved conflicts, because coming honestly before God together requires humility that spills over into how they treat each other. At Jesus is the Way Jebathottam in Keelamudiman, Tuticorin, our Sunday evening prayer gathering has seen many couples testify that their marriage changed noticeably once they committed to even five minutes of shared prayer each night, not because the problems disappeared instantly, but because they began facing those problems together before God instead of separately.
What About Praying Together in Front of the Children?
Many parents wonder whether couple prayer should stay private or include the children present in the home. Both have their place. Praying privately as a couple allows honest, personal matters between husband and wife to be brought before God without the need to filter for young ears. Praying openly as a family, on the other hand, teaches children what a God-centered marriage looks like in practice, not just in words. Children who watch their parents pray together, even briefly and imperfectly, often carry that quiet example into their own future marriages far more than any lecture about the importance of prayer ever could.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my spouse is unwilling to pray together?
Do not force or pressure an unwilling spouse; this often backfires. Continue your own consistent prayer life, pray specifically for your spouse's heart, and gently invite rather than demand. Many spouses soften over time when they see genuine, patient faithfulness rather than guilt-driven pressure.
Is it okay if our prayers together feel awkward at first?
Completely normal. Almost every couple feels awkward when they begin. Push through the initial discomfort with patience; within a few weeks, most couples find it becomes a natural, treasured part of their day rather than a forced obligation.
Should we only pray together, or also have individual prayer time?
Both matter. Individual prayer deepens your personal walk with God, while couple prayer builds unity in the marriage. A healthy spiritual life includes both private devotion and shared prayer as husband and wife.
Still Have a Doubt?
Write to us by email only at anselmajohn2020@gmail.com. We will reply as we are able. Blog questions are answered by email only.
